I am Jonah

I have to admit.......I used to think of Jonah as a colorful character with a unique and far-out story that made the Old Testament more interesting, but I saw no correlation to my life. 

Recently, that all changed dramatically. I had the privilege of participating in a Bible study at Amy Dunavants home, with some dear sisters. I had taken fair warning...the study was called 

                                            'Jonah. Navigating a Life Interrupted.' 

                                

Somehow I had a hunch it applied to me......and sure enough.....by the time we got started, my life had just been interrupted - by God opening a door for my oldest son to go to House of Hope Orlando for a season. I knew I had a choice to make - follow where God was leading and trust His heart, or fight kicking and screaming (on the inside) and take the route that I wanted God to go in - which was not so drastic! 

"After all, why would He want Austin in Florida, when his family lived in Virginia?"

Here are some thoughts on Jonah that have changed my entire viewpoint! I will use this children's book for illustration purposes......

Now, lets get this straight. The only thing we know about Jonah, prior to reading his story, comes from  2Kings 14:25, where Jonah is briefly mentioned as being a prophet of God. He seems to have been called primarily as a prophet to his own people, Israel. There are indicators that he had a fairly decent life, maybe even comfortable...........THEN 'the Word of The Lord came to Jonah', asking him to do something drastic! He asked Him to leave his home and familiar surroundings, travel approximately 500 miles East to a large city, full of ruthless, violent, wicked people who also happened to be enemies of God's Chosen People, Israel! 

"Seriously, God? That makes no sense!! Not to mention....it freaks me out! I am happy with my life, the familiarity of my surroundings, the place I have among Your people. My future was laid out right here in my hometown! I am serving You here......right where I am! You didn't really mean to mess up my plans like that, right......right??"

Wow! How many times have I done that??? Especially in the last few years!! 

"God.....You can't be serious!! What You are asking of me makes no sense! Not to mention................ - it freaks me out!! And seriously, God, I am happy with my life, the familiarity of my routine, the place I have among lifelong friends! And truly, I am sure that the future I had mapped out for myself is one that You would be happy with. After all, I am serving You where I am, right......right?" 

So he left. Not only did he leave....he paid fare on a boat that was headed to Tarshish - the edge of civilization at the time - and about 2,000 miles the opposite direction from Ninevah! Hmmm.....

So......maybe I'm not quite that drastic. But what about my heart? Jonah would have been just as disobedient by staying in his hometown when God was calling him out! The story might have looked different....maybe he wouldn't have appeared quite as foolish, because of course, if he had stayed in his hometown...there would have been no boat....no storm.....no great fish.......but you can bet God would have used something else. 

Lets take a minute to think about what was happening in Jonah's heart. He was a prophet, right? So He was used to hearing God's call, in whatever form God chose to speak to him. Wasn't he used to doing God's bidding and seeing the amazing results? It would seem so. Wasn't he used to being a significant tool God used in the life of His Chosen People? So why the hesitancy?

But for some reason......and there are lots of 'good, logical, understandable reasons'........Jonah saw this particular call as an Interruption of His Own life and plans, rather than a Divine Intervention from a loving God. He could not see that God was planning something Big! Something of Eternal Significance!

How can Jonah sleep through a great wind and a storm so mighty that it threatened to tear the ship apart? I don't know, but I do know this........at the times when I have been trying to ignore the Still, Small Voice......there is a different kind of focused closing up of my mind........sometimes it takes a storm to shake me out of it.

So God used someone else to wake Jonah up. Someone that didn't even have a relationship with Him!

I find it interesting that Jonah was willing to place others in a dangerous position to further his own purpose of going somewhere against the will of God. How many times have I been willing to allow something that hurt other people....maybe my family......in order to help me get where I'm going? Even if its not somewhere God wants me to be going....or doing......or staying? When I feel desperate to do things in my own strength, I definitely have found my brain fuzzing up, and other people come second. 

The pagan sailors he was endangering seem to have more compassion for him, than he does for them. 

                                                      A calm sea. Wow! Think about it!

        What a testimony to the pagan sailors of how Great was the God that Jonah served! How many times has God used even my disobedience to reveal how Amazing He is? And here is where it gets really interesting.......

                                                   A fish arrived. A fish named "Grace".

Throwing Jonah over the side could have been the end of the story. God didn't NEED Jonah! He could have used someone else! He could have used anything else, for that matter! Maybe even a talking donkey like he used elsewhere in Scripture to deliver a message. 

But, no. This is where the kindness and mercy of our God really starts to shine through! 

                                                 A God of second chances!

                He didn't need Jonah! He WANTED Jonah!

                                                                     Just like he doesn't need me! He WANTS me.

Because His love is so much greater than my failures. Because His love has zero to do with my performance. Because His love gives me the opportunity to see Beauty created from my Mess. 

            But there is one necessary factor......and that one thing is left entirely up to me.......

                           Humbling myself. Asking forgiveness. Asking for mercy.

                                    Surrendering my plans to God. Letting them go entirely.

                And committing to follow His plans for my life even when they don't make sense. 

And God is faithful. A God of second chances. He immediately begins to fashion something beautiful from the mess we find ourselves in. Even making our Mess a part of our Message that He has asked us to share with others, to glorify Him. And.........Thanksgiving always Precedes the Miracle. 

          Jonah's Miracle was being returned alive to dry land! Second chances!!

God did a miraculous thing in saving him alive in the belly of a great fish. But do you think he had absolutely no signs of his experience? Do you think maybe he stunk just a tad? Do you think maybe his skin was a bit discolored from the gastric juices he had marinated in for 3 days? 

                            

                                                       

                             

What does it take for God to get my attention? What does it take for me to listen to His voice and choose it above my own thoughts, ideas, and plans? God is willing and able to go the extra mile to get my attention. But am I so stubborn that He has to get creative? 

                             

So he did it, finally! And possibly the signs of his experience in the fish were a validating factor in the minds of the Ninevites! Just imagine if he was standing in a group of people, sharing the message that God had spoken.....and someone says....."Hey Jonah! What happened to your face? Why is your skin so blotchy?" Hmmmm........you mean God was SO Serious about getting this message to us Ninevites that he actually used a fish to preserve the messenger? We'd better listen up! 

        

                                     

  

                                      

                                                    Second chances! Once again!

 But this time for the people who were not part of Jonah's 'in group'. People who were not God's Chosen. People, in fact who were enemies of God's Chosen, whom Jonah had reason to hate! 

                                                    What could God be thinking? 

How many times have I secretly wished God would not extend mercy beyond those people that I like, or agree with, or am comfortable with. Why? Could it be because if I and my friends are shown a mercy that others are not, it seems to validate my own viewpoint? 

Is there anything in that thought except solid, old-fashioned, full-blown, nose-in-the air Pride? 

Because I seriously think I am somehow better than others, or walking more closely with God, or for whatever reason deserve His grace when others don't? 

Doesn't that thought in itself prove that I am just as sinful as they are? 

Maybe I sin in a different way....maybe a better way? 

Is pride an acceptable sin, while the other things listed are not?

So Jonah starts telling God, "See! I told you this would happen! And it validates my running off! I knew you were a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger, and full of great kindness. I knew you would change your mind! 

Wow! What a problem! It is SO ANNOYING! In fact, Just go ahead and let me die! It makes me so mad to see you extend mercy and love to people who don't deserve it! 

So God lets him rant and rave......and then replied with a thought-provoking question..... 

                                                        "Are you right to be angry?"

Hmmmm.......no immediate response. From the prophet, the man chosen by God to make an Eternal Significance, not just in the lives of those living at the time, but all down through history to the present.

He had come so far...and even though he had an idea that the show might not go the way he hoped, he couldn't resist sticking around to find out. After all, it would be a sight to see. 

                              

            

So Jonah rejoiced in the special provision God gave to him. Just a bit of shade......undeserved mercy. 

But then the entitlement kicked in. And when his special blessing was no longer there, he became so angry, that he again talked of suicide.

And this is where it ends. Talk about a cliff-hanger! There are so many things I want to know! What did Jonah say to that? Did he kill himself? Did God continue to speak through him? Or was that his last chance? What happened to the people of the city? Did they continue to seek after God? 

And I find it very thought-provoking that the Wind obeyed God, the Sea obeyed God, the Fish obeyed God, the Vine obeyed God, and the Worm obeyed God. All without question.

           But what about Jonah, the one created in His image, who had a relationship with God? 

What about me?   What am I going to choose? 

Will I choose to empty myself of my own plans that I am 'doing for God' so God can fill me with His plans? 

Do I believe that the Holy Spirit is alive and active today, and that He will speak to me if I ask for guidance?

Will I rejoice when God chooses to Interrupt my Life and asks me to partner with Him?

                       Not because He needs me, but because He WANTS me.....

Will I see past my own disappointment at the Interruption, and believe God is offering me an opportunity for Eternal Significance? Even if just in my own family. 

Will I do the HARD thing, knowing that in most cases, the HARD thing and the RIGHT thing are the SAME thing? (When was the last time Satan asked me to move out of my Comfort Zone? Never!)

Will I live a life of compassion towards others, so that I rejoice as Gods mercy is extended to those who don't deserve it? 

Will I see myself as also undeserving, or think I am somehow more righteous? 

In the end, will people wonder, what really was in my heart, was it surrendered to God? Or was it really still more about validating me? MY thoughts, MY viewpoints, MY friends, MY service to God.......

                  Am I a Jonah? Will I continue to be a Jonah? What about you? 

  

  

  

Seven again!

A lot has happened in the last few weeks! So much to thank God for! I will probably go back and fill in a bit later, but just wanted to say, "Austin is Home!" And it is awesome being a complete family again! 

God in Action!

                                         

For those of you wondering, there is no exact time-frame for how long Austin will be at House of Hope. The typical time-frame is from 8-18 months. They have shared that Austin graduated fairly quickly from Orientation to Phase 1, and that does not surprise me, as Austin has incredible talent at getting things accomplished when he puts his mind to something! 

There are certain benchmarks that the teens accomplish in each phase, that include memorizing verses, journaling what you feel God is doing in your life, and eventually sharing what you choose to share of your story, as well as learning relationship skills, etc. 

There is Orientation, Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Grad Phase, and Home Phase. During this time, we as parents are also receiving Counselling, and learning better relationship skills in preparation for Austin to rejoin our family.

Many have asked about contacting Austin, and we so much appreciate your love and prayers for him! 

Currently, in Phase 1, anyone who is family may write a letter to Austin, which will first be screened by a staff member to ensure that the content is encouraging. No phone calls can be received by Austin. 

Friday night before last, I was relaxing and checking my FaceBook page, when I noticed an unusual link from House of Hope Orlando. Typically they share a verse or inspirational quote, but this particular day, it was a link to a TV interview done by a station there in Orlando.

As I clicked on the link, I saw that Sara was being interviewed along with 3 residents, and as I saw the names, I assumed it was one of Austin's housemates, also named Austin. I was quite sure that Sara wouldn't take a resident on a TV interview, who had just arrived at House of Hope 7 weeks prior. 

But as the interview progressed, I was amazed to find that it was indeed, 'our' Austin!! 

In some ways, what he had to say was difficult to hear, as he started openly sharing that he had, in fact, been doing certain things that we were worried he was doing, but he would not share with us. On the other hand, as he shared, "but now I've re-dedicated my life to Jesus", the joy of seeing him peaceful and happy was more than I could have imagined, especially at this early stage! 

                            Praise God for what He is doing through House of Hope!

Here is the video link for any of you who would like to share in the joy of what God is up to! 

                      

                                                        www.vimeo.com/67334658

                                                        

If you have any trouble with the link, please go to Vimeo.com, and search 'House of Hope/Sara Trollinger GC053013. You will be blessed! Not just with Austin's part, but each one of their stories!

On Monday, we received a letter from Austin that was just beautiful! He shared that he had re-dedicated his life to Jesus, and that he had experienced some amazing things during his stay at House of Hope, that were unlike anything he had ever experienced before. Ways he believes the Holy Spirit is opening up his eyes to things that he never would have believed two months ago! 

One amazing thing he shared was this...

"The key to Christianity, and experiencing this power (of God), I have learned, is not saying 'no' to everything wrong, but saying 'Yes' to God, and the old things pass away. Romans 12:2" 

WOW!! Thanks be to the One who is teaching us all to fly!

Keep us in your prayers as we spend more time with Austin over Fathers Day!!

Stepping Out in Faith.......and the Domino Effect

                                          

Some time ago, I found this saying on Pinterest......yes, it's the best place for good quotes. Before I share more of our lives, I want to take a few moments to go back and give glory to God for some major miracles along the way. 

Getting to the point of Austin going to House of Hope was a very difficult and painful journey, as any parent can imagine. Trying so hard to do the best thing for him, yet feeling a wall between Austin and us that we could not penetrate, and knowing that in many ways, our own mistakes helped create that wall, is a very hard thing. And when the time came to realize that the best chance for his future was to trust others to reach him where we could not, it tends to be a very humbling and excruciatingly painful time. 

A time where all you can do is turn for direction to the One who loves all of us more than we could ever love each other.

A time where you really have to trust that God is real, and will answer in a real way, when you call on Him for direction. 

A time where there is not even a hint of the faux confidence we sometimes have, of being in control of the future, and having it all together, as we sometimes fool ourselves into thinking, in our very humanistic moments.

We truly have to step off the cliff.....blindly.....in faith......that either there will be something to stand on, or we will be taught to fly. Over the last couple of months, God has shown us in so many little ways........that He wants to teach us how to fly! 

I want to share with you a few small miracles that came so quickly in Domino effect, after we jumped off the cliff.

First, as we were talking over options with our counselor in the office that night..........she shared with us that the National House of Hope in Orlando was where she always went for their training sessions. She shared that Sara Trollinger, who started House of Hope 28 years ago, was based in Orlando, and that she felt it would be our best bet, if the logistics could be handled. 

At that moment, my Mom and Dad were........guess where?  Somewhere they had never been before. Several days prior to this time, they had asked to take Kenley and Luke on a special vacation to Legoland, just outside of Orlando, Florida! Seriously? Yes, seriously! 

One thing Austin struggled with was the boys silliness in the car. So, as we headed south, I was amazed that God had worked it in such a way, that our trip down could be as calm for Austin as possible, yet he could see all his brothers, and his grandparents, who all love him so much, and everyone could get a glimpse at his new home! 

Another way I have found God working, is through what we didn't know. When there is the amount of stress at hand, and the hope for some help, it is hard to think of all the things to ask on order to make a completely informed decision. When I called House of Hope Orlando, I knew a few basics, such as that financially they worked on a sliding scale. Since we were already working with HofH Central Virginia, and they had been so wonderful with us, I had this innocent surety that whatever the cost would be, it would be feasible. I was SO naive!!

As we arrived at House of Hope Orlando, and had our interview with them, Eric and I both were completely caught off guard with the tuition cost! While it makes sense when you stand back and think about all they are doing for the children, I just didn't have that scope and perspective before arriving! 

When the topic came up, and we realized what the expectation was, we had to say there was no possible way for us to cover that. I believed that it was a deal- breaker, but was thanking God for the good time we had together on the way down, and started thinking He would be showing us another way as we headed back home. 

But the dear people at House of Hope were not finished with us yet! They asked us to pray, and asked for some time so they could pray. They also asked to visit with Austin. 

After an hour or so, they asked Eric and I to come back in, and asked if we could all pray together. 

When we raised our heads, they began to share that they felt led to take Austin for the amount we were able to give, provided we could work out the logistics of visitation and Counselling.

We were incredibly surprised and grateful!! After more thought and prayer, we gratefully made the agreement. 

As part of the transition, Austin needed to have a basic physical, plus some blood work done as a baseline. We left House of Hope and went to a walk-in clinic that was close by. 

As we entered and explained to the receptionist what we needed, she told us that they did not normally do that type of bloodwork, but they might be able to, at an upfront cost of at least $500.00.

Ad no, they did not accept our insurance. There is NO WAY!  Lets just say......that was another potential deal-breaker. 

After some conversation between Eric and I, he called back to House of Hope and shared what had happened and asked for any suggestions. 

A few minutes later, his phone rings, and Terri had set up an appointment for Austin for the next morning with her personal doctor, just a few minutes drive from House of Hope! And Yes! She took our insurance! And even better yet, Austin would be an established patient, so that if anything came up, he would already have a doctor! Another miracle of provision! 

A this point, we had joined Mom and Dad, and decided we should get a hotel so we could have the rest of the day to finish up paperwork, and getting the supplies Austin needed. 

Mom and Dad watched the boys while Eric and I went back to sign papers at House of Hope....I seriously can't imagine how we would have done this if they weren't with us. 

As we finished signing papers, one of the counselors walked into our room, along with a resident. He was assigned to be Austin's 'buddy' for the first few weeks to help him with the adjustment. 

He was just slightly younger than Austin, and had been at House of Hope for about a year. 

As we spoke with him, he started sharing how God had changed his heart through the people at House of Hope. How God had delivered him from anger, and other things that caused his life to be very unhappy prior to surrendering to Christ. The confidence with which he spoke of His relationship with Christ, was just beautiful!  It was another miracle of confirmation for Eric and I.

We had so many emotions at this point.......sadness, gratefulness, hopefulness.......yet wound through it all was the amazing way God kept showing up! As if to give us Reassurance. In more direct ways than I have ever experienced before! 

After a nice evening together, and a good nights sleep, Eric and I and Austin left the next morning, and my parents watched the other boys. The doctors appointment went well, and we headed to House of Hope. 

It was lunch time, and almost everyone was in the cafeteria. We headed that way, and as I neared the door, it opened from the inside, and I found myself being welcomed and embraced by Sara Trollinger, herself. And a beautiful greeting it was, as she warmly welcomed Austin, and radiated the love of God. 

As we stepped into the cafeteria, what stood out to me, was the joy on the faces of the kids, the love portrayed on the faces of the adults, and the happy chatter shared all around. 

There was a group of missionarys there also, who had come to help do Spring cleaning at House of Hope. The healthy mix of love, acceptance, service, boundaries, grace, and trust in what God can do, created a very beautiful atmosphere, which, again, was very soothing to a mother and father's hearts. 

Austin's buddy gave us another quick tour, and we unloaded his things. And then God gave us the strength to do one of the hardest things ever. To hug Austin, tell him how much we love him, and turn and walk to the car without him, trusting that God had him in His hands, right where He wanted him, and trusting that God wanted to teach us all how to fly.

First visit....Mothers Day 2013

We were able to visit Austin for the first time over Mothers Day. It was a beautiful time, though it started out on a bit of a roller coaster.
The night before we got there, another boy had gotten upset at Austin, and hurt him pretty badly. According to the staff, Austin's behavior was exceptional, and he did not retaliate. We were so thankful to hear that! It did rock Austin's boat quite a bit, though, and it was the first time something of that magnitude had happened to him. While they have told us that every child asks their parents to take them home on the first visit, the situation the night before had, understandably, made Austin's requests more emotion-packed.
Eric and I listened to him, yet we still believed it was best for him to stay there longer, so finally around 3:00 p.m. Austin seemed to just make up his mind to make the best of it, and from there on out, we had a really nice time!
We went to Target and bought him some more things he needed, then had dinner together at Olive Garden.       

The next morning, before we left to go back to House of Hope, Eric started sharing with Austin some of the things that God has been showing him through our counselor and parenting classes at House of Hope in Charlottesville. He reminded Austin that, while he was learning and growing and changing in Florida, we were learning and growing and changing at home. With the hope and confidence that when the time is right for us to move forward together, we will all have a deeper relationship with God which will help us through the hard times.

Austin really surprised us by sharing that he had experienced some "incredible God moments" already, just in the five weeks he had been there! We were amazed and thrilled! He also shared his appreciation for all the staff. We could tell by the way he spoke of them, that they really had been living out the love of God in their lives!

We left for House of Hope, and while Austin rejoined his friends and went back to school, I got to spend 1-1/2 hours with Linda, Austin's counselor! It was a beautiful and amazing time! I sat there with tears running down my cheeks, as I found out that she personally had a son that was more like Austin than anyone I've ever known. Linda shared with me that there is actually a physiological aspect to his syndrome, and she had found a doctor that helped her through the time her son was at home. The doctor could not fix it, but was able to do things to help. One of the major 'signatures' is that the kids typically act very appropriate while in public, but when they come to their 'safe place', which is usually home, they have great difficulty with their behavior.
He also told her that most of the time the patients he sees with this particular scenario are boys if young, and they tend to eventually 'outgrow' the syndrome. He said that sometimes if girls are pre-disposed for it, their symptoms show up as they go through puberty.

Wow! It is hard to describe the emotions I felt sitting there in her office as God revealed one more reason that Orlando was the place for Austin. His counselor understands him, from experience with her own son, better than almost anyone else! Linda's son is graduating this year with a Masters degree!

Meanwhile, Eric had taken Channing and gone to the store to purchase some items so we could cook dinner for everyone. Then he got to spend an hour with Linda, while I took Channing on a walk around campus and took lots of pictures! Here are a few!

                                   

Front entrance to main office

Back of cafeteria and courtyard

Channing with Lake Catherine in background

Austin's house

The school building

Roses

Inside courtyard area in school building

Lighthouse and visiting swing

Chapel

Eric cooking dinner for everyone! 

Courtyard with chapel in background.

When God opens a door.......

He does it in a big way!!
God gave us a special gift in our oldest son......a big heart, an incredible mind, a sensitive soul, a passionate personality! He has been a joy and challenge from very young!
And Eric and I have loved him so much! We tried many things to help him and made many mistakes over the last 16 years.
After working with 3 different counselors over the past couple of years, at the beginning of April, we came to a situation that presented a brick wall. 
After having another meeting with Austin and Eric and I, our counselor at House of Hope Central Virginia shared that she felt it was time that Austin get some focused help in a special teen program for a short time.
She mentioned House of Hope Orlando as a wonderful option. Though far away from home, God showed us in an amazing way that was where He wanted Austin!
We took him down there over spring break, and this part of his story began......

The Joy of Surprises!

                                                  Channing Zane Woods! 

When Austin was 14, and had just started high school, Landen was 12, and had just started middle school, Kenley was 11 and in 5th grade, and Luke was 7 and in the 2nd grade, we had an amazing and life-changing addition to our family. Sometimes I wonder..........did God think our life was getting just a little too calm for our own good? It didn't feel that calm, but sending Channing to us, definitely took care of that! 

                                         

   

He arrived in late September of 2011. And so many times I have thanked God for knowing we needed this little guy to come join us. God has a plan for Channing, as He does for all of us. But I knew from the start that there was a unique and special part that God had in mind for Channing to have in our family, for the blessing of all of us!

And truly, in more ways than I can begin to tell you, he has blessed our lives! Having such a large gap in age between the four older boys and Channing has allowed them a whole different experience of 'Big-brother-hood'! An experience they have each thrived on, learned and grown from.

And having older boys has been a daily reminder for me of how quickly time passes. A reminder to grab hold of each moment.........choose to "waste time" sitting and holding the sleeping baby. He will have disappeared into a young man before I know it! 

                                      

There have been so many blessings we have received as a direct result of this surprise gift......it has increased my faith in a God who sees the bigger picture, and wants only good for His children!

                                   

                                        Thank you, God, for our new addition!